Mad, Bad Science
Now you know a little more what it was like growing up Lambson, I will get back to MY life;-)
Of course when left to our own devices we were always finding ways to amuse ourselves, often in the form of various experiments. Some of these were science-related (I think all of my circle, in some part of their make-up, fancied ourselves as fledgling mad scientists).
For instance, we were quite interested in how insects would interact with each other in a confined space. Some of the combinations were red ants with honeybees (probably one of the reasons there are fewer honeybees around these days...and almost certainly the reason some bred with a more aggressive South American bee). We put 2-3 bees in with about a dozen ants. As you might have guessed the ants won...bees have only one sting to offer, ants can apparently sting many times. Another combination was a grasshopper (a pretty big one) and a stink bug. No contest...I don't know what stink bugs emit, but the grasshopper was black the next day!
Sometimes we tested the effect of different stimuli on sentient beings. We managed to capture a couple of fingerlings in one of the pools left when the water to the canal was shut off for the season. Peevis was the mastermind on this one. He wondered what would happen if we wired a couple of nails to an electric train transformer, then touched them to the outside of the bottle the fish were held in. Of course each time we did this, the fishes' muscles would contract...not too comfortable for them, but hilarious to a 9- and 10-year old; and while I cannot say that no fish were harmed in the conducting of this experiment, I can at least tell you they were returned to the wild alive.
Another experiment later that same year involved dry ice, of which we managed to obtain some reasonably large chunks after the Sharon Day Fair held the last day of school. We managed to get it home without permanently damaging anything, and then the experiments began. We started by flash-freezing various plants to see their response...then somehow we managed to secure a wasp...a WASP. Not that wasps weren't easily available, but I can't imagine why we didn't try our old friend the honeybee, which, as you recall, only had one sting in him. Oh well, bird in the hand, I guess. We froze the wasp until he was totally stiff and immobile...crispy, almost...then backed away to let him thaw...and sure enough, after perhaps a minute (we didn't have much patience in those days), he began to move, then got on his legs, and finally, took off...a little groggy, to be sure, but alive! By then our dry ice had pretty much melted, so, providentially, we couldn't take on anything bigger.
On at least one occasion our experiments involved another non-voluntary human. Somehow we all acquired inexpensive magnifying glasses within a few days of each other, and immediately began collaborating on for what nefarious purposes they could be used. We found early that the concentrated beam of sunlight they could produce was sufficient to burn small things...leaves; paper; rolls of caps. We also tried it on ants (the small black ones that didn't bite, not the larger biting red ones, but that wasn't amusing for very long...they smelled terrible). We weren't completely finished with the ants, however. Peevis's Mom, a very resourceful woman, kept a tin of broken crayons that she would pull out when kids were bored enough to do some random but unimportant coloring. I am not sure who thought of this, but someone thought it might be fun to melt the crayons, so Peevis retrieved the tin and brought it outside...and sure enough, melting spots in the crayons, creating small dots of liquid wax, was entertaining. Not half so entertaining, however, as when an ant was inserted bottom-half down into the small pool of wax...you can imagine the wriggling.
But the human element got involved when we decided to return several ant-infused crayons to the tin, and return it to its place. The target was Peevis's older sister Terry (my age, 9 at the time), and we were not disappointed...it wasn't thirty minutes later (we were already playing some other game, but were in earshot of the house) when we heard the distinct cries of horror from a 9-year old girl.
I do not remember if there were any long-term consequences for Peevis, or how his Mom must have regarded the group he hung around with. I am happy to report that as we got older, our interests were diverted to more constructive ways to amuse ourselves; and Terry married a dentist, and has a very normal, wonderful life...she actually asked me to go to a dinner-dance with her in high school, demonstrating the forgiveness and resilience of the human spirit.
Another experiment later that same year involved dry ice, of which we managed to obtain some reasonably large chunks after the Sharon Day Fair held the last day of school. We managed to get it home without permanently damaging anything, and then the experiments began. We started by flash-freezing various plants to see their response...then somehow we managed to secure a wasp...a WASP. Not that wasps weren't easily available, but I can't imagine why we didn't try our old friend the honeybee, which, as you recall, only had one sting in him. Oh well, bird in the hand, I guess. We froze the wasp until he was totally stiff and immobile...crispy, almost...then backed away to let him thaw...and sure enough, after perhaps a minute (we didn't have much patience in those days), he began to move, then got on his legs, and finally, took off...a little groggy, to be sure, but alive! By then our dry ice had pretty much melted, so, providentially, we couldn't take on anything bigger.
On at least one occasion our experiments involved another non-voluntary human. Somehow we all acquired inexpensive magnifying glasses within a few days of each other, and immediately began collaborating on for what nefarious purposes they could be used. We found early that the concentrated beam of sunlight they could produce was sufficient to burn small things...leaves; paper; rolls of caps. We also tried it on ants (the small black ones that didn't bite, not the larger biting red ones, but that wasn't amusing for very long...they smelled terrible). We weren't completely finished with the ants, however. Peevis's Mom, a very resourceful woman, kept a tin of broken crayons that she would pull out when kids were bored enough to do some random but unimportant coloring. I am not sure who thought of this, but someone thought it might be fun to melt the crayons, so Peevis retrieved the tin and brought it outside...and sure enough, melting spots in the crayons, creating small dots of liquid wax, was entertaining. Not half so entertaining, however, as when an ant was inserted bottom-half down into the small pool of wax...you can imagine the wriggling.
But the human element got involved when we decided to return several ant-infused crayons to the tin, and return it to its place. The target was Peevis's older sister Terry (my age, 9 at the time), and we were not disappointed...it wasn't thirty minutes later (we were already playing some other game, but were in earshot of the house) when we heard the distinct cries of horror from a 9-year old girl.
I do not remember if there were any long-term consequences for Peevis, or how his Mom must have regarded the group he hung around with. I am happy to report that as we got older, our interests were diverted to more constructive ways to amuse ourselves; and Terry married a dentist, and has a very normal, wonderful life...she actually asked me to go to a dinner-dance with her in high school, demonstrating the forgiveness and resilience of the human spirit.
